Bringing the Zing Back

They say that love is blind and marriage is an eye opener. I believe that when you are in the initial stages of love you are so consumed, mesmerized and focused on impressing your partner that you lose sight and overlook any shortcomings.

Over time the butterflies in your stomach get tired and you no longer get that tingling feeling when you see your partner.  You are now more comfortable burping and farting in each other’s presence, basically you take each other’s existence for granted. The drive to impress dwindles with each passing day and over time. If you manage to pick up after yourself or put the toilet seat down you consider that a huge favor you have bestowed upon your partner.

Life can get too routine and predictable, it is at this time we have a choice to let things be, or try and bring some excitement back into your life and your partner’s life. Some veteran couples may tell you that if you have something good let it be. I however feel that you need to rock the boat and stir up some excitement to get the zing back. Even if you have managed to bring some excitement for a day or two, you are moving in the right direction.

I’ve written a couple of posts in the past about relationships and in each one I reiterate, don’t take your partner for granted  for in the midst of routine and boredom you would either neglect your partner or get into something that you should not. 

The simplest way to get back on track is to have open conversations; now having such a conversation is tough as at times we do not want to be completely honest as we fear how the other person will react. What we forget that if we aren’t completely honest we will never know how our significant other will react and we carry that burden of a secret or discontent for years.

I have seen people hide things from their partners and I know that it eats into them as they are unable to be truly honest. If your relationship is strong enough it will endure some bitter truths, however if your relationship is built on lies it will one day crumble before your eyes and you will have no time to salvage anything from it. Life is not a result of one big choice that we make, but it is a list of little choices that make us who we are.

For any relationship to be successful, you need to have those hard conversations and hope for the best.  One should never forget that a brilliance of a diamond is achieved from a piece of coal.  It is only time, endurance and immense pressure that make it unbreakable and precious. You need to learn to sift the glass from the diamonds.

The older you get one realizes that relationships are built on trust, understanding, forgiveness and love.  It doesn’t matter how much money, fame, or success you have achieved, what truly matters is for who our hearts still beats.

Freedom

Sometimes we just need to get away from our daily routines and experience something new. It could be a new hobby, a new friendship or an item from our bucket list.

Whatever we choose to do should give us the sense of freedom we've been longing for. Life can get mundane and too routine if we don't pay attention. Relationships can also lose its spark, if we don't keep the fire burning.

Overtime the once hot embers of a relationship are nothing more than a lump of charred cold ash. So if you feel, tied down, suffocated, uneasy and bored, take charge of your life and do something new.

For those in relationships, you can forge new friendships meet new people and yet be committed to your partner. But beware of getting too emotionally attached your new found friend, as it could damage your existing relationship.

Some of the signs to watch out for are:

1) If you find yourself talking about your new friend very often, you have unknowingly got attached emotionally.

2) If you text each other every single day, at the start and at the end of the day you are in a pseudo relationship.

3) If you have deleted, or feel the need to delete some portion of your text messages from your new friend, then you are either consciously or subconsciously feeling guilty or feel the need to eliminate the evidence.

4) If you start to feel more comfortable expressing your inner thoughts dreams and ideas with your new friend, you are probably not too far away from considering this person as your future partner or vice versa.

5) Sometimes we you give someone a shoulder to cry on, they get attached to you.

Life can get very complicated and if we aren't alert, we can get drawn and pulled into any direction. My advice is, have fun, experience everything you dreamed of experiencing but know where to draw the line. Because at times the line is so faint and blurred we often miss it.

Stay happy, healthy and live life to the fullest.

Avoiding Conflict - Staying Happy

The secret to happiness lies in looking only at positive aspects and not dwelling on the negative.

Yes! That is the Answer!

It's as simple as that. If you want me to elaborate read on, if you don't, put your thumb on Alt hold it down and now put your index finger on F4. For those reading it on their iPads, Mobiles - Just exit. 

For those who are still reading, I guess you have time on your hands or have not followed my previous instructions correctly and hence are still reading.

I have come across situations where people are affected by another person’s mere presence and any gesture, verbal misrepresented benign statements or any situation is perceived as a personal attack and an invasion into their space.

Such an individual will inadvertently, unknowingly seek reasons for that perceived threat and will always be on guard. 

This is a mild form of a mind disorder. It is bordering on Paranoia to read more click on this link : http://www.minddisorders.com/Ob-Ps/Paranoia.html#ixzz48bNBi4sG

Disclaimer :

I am no psychologist, nor do I claim to be, therefore any advice given by me in this post, is my interpretation of what should be done and not a direction for you to follow it. It is your choice to pick what you like, and discard the rest. 

Phew I feel safe now! - Getting back to my take on avoiding conflict and staying happy... I believe that if you let anything get to you, it will consume you and overpower your senses. Therefore, if you have to let anything get to you, let it be only positive experiences.

I have seen too many people self-destruct by just focusing on the negative aspects of life.

It may be harder to do, but if practiced enough it can make a world of difference in your life. Negativity and misery on the other hand loves company and catches on quickly. It can be detrimental to one's life and to his/her surrounding if we let ourselves get sucked into this dark void of negativity.

Life ain't a bed of roses, but if you keep focusing only on the thorns you'd never enjoy the beauty of the rose.

You've got one life to live, fill it with love, laughter and great memories.

Unanswered & Happy

When one has been wronged, the immediate response is to react. It's not easy stay composed or rationalize what has happened. However any reaction / action made during this time can be detrimental.

I have come across some scenarios where although justified in every respect, the consequence of the reaction proved to be more damaging than the initial impact.

In our quest to right a wrong, we may just hurt ourselves more than we expect and make whatever hope of salvage, an impossible task.

It takes a strong heart and mind to walk away from the toxicity and start afresh. I have always said, think a 100 times before you try to bring people to task.

Ask yourself these questions and then make a decision to act:

1) Will I gain anything from doing this? ( Besides personal satisfaction)
2) Will or could my actions damage my future prospects, relationships etc?
3) Would it really make any difference to my personal life if I right this wrong? ( Besides personal satisfaction)
4) Could my actions impact the people I care about?


To be honest in most scenarios that I have seen, the more we focus on getting back at others who have wronged us, the magnitude of stress and hurt we feel is 10 times worse.

It's best to Let Go, and focus on the future. You cannot undo the past and trying to make people see how wrong they have been has often resulted in a severe backlash.

Logically, very few people would admit they are wrong, and most would do everything in their 'POWER' to prove they are right.

It's a cut throat world and at times you need to be cordial with the ones who have let you down so that, you don't face great repercussions by confronting them in any form or medium.

Just remember The Wheels Of Justice Grind Slowly But Surely, we don't need to bring people to task, Life will do it. - Trust Me I know it works.

Recipe of Love

God is thee Master Chef and we are all his creations. Each one of us is made with different ingredients that can be altered to a degree but can't be changed completely.

When two dishes compliment each other they make one awesome dish like mac n cheese, spaghetti and meatballs, milk and cookies, bacon and eggs and some are unique combinations like chips in a cheese sandwich or any other sandwich. 

They key over here is to enjoy the dish as a whole and not try and figure out every little secret ingredient or try and alter it's contents. What you can do is add some spice to the entire dish and accept it for the way it is. 

At times one may get tired with the same thing and get bored, rather than look for something else it's better to add a Lil zing to your dish. 

What people don't realize that every new enticing dish has some ingredients that you may not like, but that's what gives the dish it's kick / flavor. Not every ingredient will be great by itself, but a combination of all makes it unique and special. I suggest that rather than concentrate on the things you do not like, look at the things that you like.

It's important to focus on the good stuff, it makes one feel better... Trust me!

Sometimes comfort food is thee best rather than some exotic new dish. They say ignorance is bliss and I do agree in some way it is. At times when we become more aware of things, we lose our sense of appreciation of what we have. 

It's OK to want more and be happier but that's the unknown. You may think that what you will get will better but that's the risk. So if you already have something good, you need to be sure that you want to risk it all to get something that may or may not be better.

Sometimes I feel that God, doesn't like us mortals to be more aware of things that he has created. In the quest of enlightenment we may cross things we are not meant to know or acquire skills that we shouldn't have. ‎That's why God made people speak different languages when he saw the tower of Babel rise uncontrollably towards the sky. But that's just my take on things. Getting back to the gourmet meal. 

Often the same meal that you loved and invested in over time will seem unappetizing  there could be several external factors that may contribute to it. Step back try and assess the reasons why it tastes different, see what you can do to improve the flavor. 

This post is all about what can you do, cause you are in control of what you can do and you can never expect the dish to alter it's core ingredients.

So if you are ever unhappy with the current state of your meal. You have four options 1) Risk and get another meal, 2) fix the meal by adding things you like (don't try and remove the things you don't like), 3) order take-out or 4) stay hungry. 

The choice is yours make it wisely.